Why We Can’t Shut Up About Race

 

The way I know I am getting somewhere in a conversation about race is when one or more of the people in the discussion start squirming or trying to change the subject.

Then and only then is when there is the teeny-tiniest chance of persuasion.  That discomfort signals, to me anyway, a conflict within the person.  It signals something called cognitive dissonance, which occurs when an individual finds herself holding two conflicting beliefs.  It means something I’ve said has broken through the resistance and landed a point that actually makes sense to the person. 

There is a great reluctance to talk about racial issues in America, especially on the parts of some members of the dominant group.  In my experience, even those who are trying to be open-minded and truly want the effects of American racism to simply vaporize, become uncomfortable at some point in the conversation.

Why is that?

I believe it is because of collective guilt.

In my opinion, there are two categories of this feeling of guilt that sets in for members of the dominant group because of the harm their group has caused to the oppressed group:

Those who don’t want to hear it; and those who don’t know how to deal with it.

The first group is defensive.  They are adept at accusing others of “playing the race card,” as if the very suggestion of a racial component to a chain of events is considered unfair game play.  They are the people who, instead of considering the validity of such possibilities, tend to suggest we stop looking back at the history of black and brown people on this continent and start getting those “others” to think and behave like what they call “real Americans.”  Enough already, they say.  The past is the past.  We’re sorry! OK?!?!  Now get up off your black or brown butts and start pulling your weight the way we do!

The second group includes a good number of my online friends and fellow writers who are white.  They know the racism is still here.  They know it is extremely harmful – for the individual, for the family, for the town, city, state and nation.  They even know they will never fully “get” what it feels like to not be white.  And at some point in the conversation, many will feel so weary from not knowing what to do about the problems, they suggest we end the conversation.

More than once I have seen comments on blog post threads that express exasperation with all the posts written about race.  They say they choose to read and discuss happier things, things that aren’t so potentially explosive.  They say they are disgusted by some of the vitriol that such posts seem to generate, so they are avoiding future posts on the subject like the plague.

 RELIGION…POLITICS…RACE = off limits in polite conversation.

But not all conversations need to be polite.  Some conversations – the ones that are most likely to get problems solved – need to get down and dirty in order to reach a successful and permanent solution.  Refusing to think about, much less talk about racism does nothing whatsoever to ameliorate the broad gaps in understanding about social problems in the U.S.

It is no longer enough to simply know within your heart that, as a white person, you are absolutely without racial prejudice, which makes you a non-racist.  Being a non-racist is good; it’s just not good enough.  It’s not enough to stay on the sidelines avoiding conflict knowing you are not guilty of racist thoughts and behaviors.

What’s needed in this country today is a movement to transform non-racists into outspoken and passionate anti-racism activists.  No matter how much a person believes he is not part of the problem, failure to speak out against the rancid racist outbursts that result from things like the recent interracial ad for Cheerios keeps him from being part of the solution.

We cannot change the history of black and brown people in America.  It happened and it is disgraceful.  You, the reader, didn’t do any of it.  Neither did I.  But that doesn’t mean we are not responsible for fixing the aftermath, which lingers relentlessly century after century. 

True, some of the discussions here and on other blog sites get painfully heated.  You might feel like you can’t relate to the positions some of the commenters take.  That’s fine.  That’s to be expected.  What matters is what you decide to do about the discomfort these exchanges cause you.  Will you retreat to a safer and less-stressful corner and refuse to read further?  Or will you expose your true feelings to the light of day and participate in the conversation?

Oh, I am acutely aware of the gamesmanship that goes on here, with people trying to razzle dazzle their opponents with verbal gymnastics.   You might think it is necessary for you to respond in kind, but it’s not.  It is only necessary for you to go on record as to what you believe to be true. 

The rabid racists who like to invade a comment thread spewing shock and awe while they hide behind their avatars and their computer screens are getting far more national attention then those of us who sincerely believe we can come together in a way that will shut those racists up and sit their racist butts down.

Let’s continue to talk about it.  Let’s not shut up.