From a Different Point of View

 

She gave me the name Coquette.  I thought that was kinda cute, even though I had no idea what it meant.  I heard Her telling somebody it was the perfect name for me because I was such a tease.  See, I’m not too keen on people putting their filthy hands on my head, so I always back away.  I mean, who knows where those hands have been?

When She picked me out of my litter, I was so happy.  I had done everything a puppy of 12 weeks of age knows to do to attract Her attention.  I felt Her insides go all mushy when I jumped onto the couch and snuggled against Her left thigh.  That turned out to be a good move, I must say.

I answer to Coqui because She has never once called me by my whole name.  Humans are funny people.  I heard Her tell Her friend She had thought for weeks about what to name me.  So what does She do?  She immediately shortens it.   If She was going to do that, why didn’t She just call me Rex or Fido?  Probably because I’m a bitch.

I’m nine years old now.  Apparently that makes me a senior citizen in dog years, but I still feel pretty much like a pup.  Some days I get a little sore in the joints, but since She started giving me those special treats with gluc… -- well, whatever it is – that hasn’t been a problem.  I do take a lot of naps, though.  Seems like I just can’t get enough shuteye.

I walk Her twice a day most of the time.  I like long walks.  She usually goes along with that, unless it’s raining or Her foot is hurting Her.  That foot does give Her fits.  I feel pretty bad about that foot, ‘cuz She broke it when I was walking Her about five years ago.  Talk about your freak accidents.  It was like that tree root just crept out onto the sidewalk and tripped Her backwards.

She must really love me a lot, because I am spoiled rotten.  She spends a lot of those green pieces of paper at Petsmart and everything She buys there is for me.  I get ice cubes in my water, too.  I guess you could say I have trained Her pretty well.  It wasn’t easy, but She finally got the hang of it.

My favorite thing to do is lie on the couch and watch Her.  I don’t know how to laugh, but if I did I would be laughing my tail off.  She forgets what She’s doing a lot so She just stands in the middle of the floor talking to Herself.

“What was I getting ready to do?”  She says out loud.  Like I know?!

I cock my head politely so She thinks I care about what She’s saying.  What I’m really thinking is “You know you are pathetic, right?”

I don’t like it when She doesn’t take me with Her when She leaves the house.  Just to make sure She doesn’t sneak out without me, I follow Her wherever She goes.  I don’t know why, but sometimes She seems to get fed up with that.  She calls me The White Shadow (just because I’m white, I guess) and orders me to lie down and stay there.  I make Her feel bad by laying on my chin and gazing up at Her with my big brown eyes.  It always works.

I have no idea what She would do without me around to keep Her company.  She sits on the couch for hours on end staring at that thing with the buttons She pushes with Her fingers.  I have to bark at Her sometimes just to remind Her it’s time to eat.  I don’t know what She is staring at, but every once in a while She will chuckle or even laugh out loud.  That’s the same thing She does when I do my tricks to try to attract Her attention away from that puter or whatever She calls it.  She’s so cute when She does that!

Life is pretty good for us.  The only time I really get upset with Her is when She takes me to see that guy with the white coat.  I haven’t even been bad, but this guy always sticks me with something sharp.  It’s not in my nature to snarl and bite, so I just cry.  It doesn’t hurt all that much, but She always gives me extra hugs and treats when I cry, so why not? 
 
All in all, I think I made an excellent choice when I picked Her.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to see a dog about a man.