10 Best Things About Being a Senior

I have never wanted to be old. It never looked the least bit appealing, not on any level whatsoever. As I saw it through my twentysomething eyes, an old person was relegated to a kind of place holder, a person who couldn't do much, couldn't see much, couldn't hear much and didn't have very much relevant to say. That point of view pretty much held up through my thirties and forties.

When I hit the fifties, the age at which I used to think one was "old," that new light we hear so much about starting glowing in the corner of my mind's eye. As fast as my waistline was expanding, so were my perspectives about age. I felt as if I was just beginning to hit my stride, just approaching that self-actualization phase of life. However, I might have been the only one feeling that way about me, because outside of my own mind, things were taking a big turn for the worse.

By the time I turned 55, the term "senior" started to pop up as a reference to me. I hated that. I remember when a neighborhood friend asked if I was interested in going to the Senior Community Center for breakfast because it was only $3. I was truly insulted by the implication that I was too cheap to buy breakfast at a real restaurant, but mostly I was insulted by the word "senior."

Well, that was more than ten years ago, and I am over it. Yes, doggone it, I am a senior and proud of it. In fact, I have discovered some distinct and previously unimagined advantages of being a senior:

10. When I tell someone "I forgot," they believe me.
9. If I can remember to go to the supermarket on Wednesday, instead of any other day of the week, I get 5% off my total bill.
8. When I wake up in the morning and the only thing that doesn't hurt is my hair, I can lie in bed until the ibuprofen kicks in.
7. The money I save by not coloring my hair anymore can be used to purchase yet another prescription for high blood pressure.
6. When I go into any crowded waiting room, someone is likely to offer me a seat.
5. If I go to a party and become bored, nobody cares when I leave early.
4. My outspokenness, which once was considered shocking, is now considered almost cute.
3. I bought a new gym membership yesterday for only $22 per month, which includes a pool, a room full of machines and free Silver Sneakers classes.
2. The fact that I don't drink alcohol no longer causes others to assume that I am an alcoholic!
1. I can say "no" with great regularity and have no fear of losing anything or anybody as a result of saying it.