Interview with the Opposition, AKA Ex-Husband

Twenty-five years have soothed the pain, the angst and some of the unpleasant memories. My ex-husband and I resumed our friendship after we met in Los Angeles last September to help our son celebrate his 40th birthday. At first it was really, really awkward. We both looked older, of course, heavier and, in my case, shorter (osteopoenia). It wasn't long, however, before we fell into a familiar rhythm, exchanging each of our versions of Mid-western sarcasm, bantering playfully about our golf games, jointly adoring that wonderful kid we raised.

There was one area of our interpersonal discourse that I think we had both forgotten a little. Since he was a moderate Republican/independent and I was a moderate Democrat/independent during our marriage, we often disagreed on political and economic issues. Social issues weren't much of an issue, which should not be too surprising when the fact that he is white and I am black comes to light. In order for us to have gotten together at all, we had to have agreed on the basic belief that all people are the same until they choose to deviate from our shared standards of morality. It appears that once we went our separate ways -- our divorce had nothing at all to do with our politics -- we each drifted slowly away from the center, in opposite directions.

Lately, the ex has been giving me a hard time about Barack Obama and his policies. I have admitted in earlier posts that I am not very happy with the job President O. has done to date, and it pains me beyond all reason to have to do so. Today I have to admit that a lot of my fervent support of the former Senator's bid for the Presidency was based on two things: 1) Mr. Obama's eloquent speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention, and 2) the prospect of the American people electing an African American to the highest office in the land. Scream at me all you like, but if you, too, are a 65-year-old American of African descent who tried to make sense of the lynchings, the humiliations, the horrible imagery of the Civil Rights Movement and the systemic prejudice that permeated the American culture at the time, you will understand. The idea of living long enough to see the polar opposite of all that hatefulness happen was just too enticing.

Today, the bloom is off the rose, the shine is off the gold, and my anger is off the charts. Today, I don't give a crap what color his skin is. I just want him to lead us out of this mess we are in. I am trying to really understand the point of view of those who have embraced the TEA Party, Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and yes, even Glenn Beck. What better place to start than with a person who feels totally free to say what's on his mind? So I interviewed my ex.

Q. When we were married, you seemed to me to be a fiscal conservative with a more moderate stance when it comes to social issues. Would you agree with that?

A. Yes

Q. Has any of that changed in the past 25 years?

A. No

Oh, I forgot to warn the reader -- my ex is a man of very few words; the fewer the better, he thinks. So, as different from my style of communication as that may be, get used to it for the purpose of this interview.

Q. You are a big fan of Reaganomics. What do you think Reagan would have done if he had taken office in January 2009 with conditions as they were?

A. What he did previously. Get taxes reduced so corporations would have money for wages and to invest AND consumers would have more money to spend. I also think he would have sat down with leaders in Congress, the Fed, FASB and the banks and said, “we all had a hand getting here, how do we keep people in their homes and keep the banks from going broke”.

Q. One of my other two conservative friends points to the decade of government intervention in Japan as the reason their recovery from their last recession took so long. Do you think the government should have just stepped back and allowed the economy to correct itself?

A. Absolutely. Look at how much better things are with everything the curren t administration has done !

Q. I know you are being facetious, but the retort the other side is “think how much worse things would be had we not taken the measures we did.” Do you think that’s a valid argument?

A. No—first Obama said 90% of the “Stimulus” would go to private sector. The 90% ended up going to the public sector and now that that money is running out, those employees are being let go. We could have faced that last year and been well on our way to recovery now.

Q. You are no fan of President Obama, but I know you to be a fair person. What do you think he has accomplished since taking office?

A. Not much. Good things—Letting the SEALS kill those Somali Pirates. Not closing Gitmo. And for selfish reasons, signing the unemployment extensions. Also continuing the Bush policy re: drones in Pakistan/Afghanistan.

It didn't occur to me to ask him during the interview, but I wonder how he would have felt about that extension of unemployment benefits if he wasn't unemployed himself. My gut feeling is that he would feel fine about it because employers have paid into Unemployment Insurance for him and for me for more than 40 years.

Q. Does Sarah Palin have the intelligence to be an effective POTUS?

A. Don’t know , but I like her sense of decency and common sense.

Q. Could you elaborate a bit? How has she displayed a sense of decency and common sense?

A. With her family and everything she says.

While we were married, I would never have let this one pass. EVERYTHING she says? Please! But I have learned to choose my battles better than I did then.

Q. Let’s pretend you were appointed interim president today. What actions would you take to steer the country into a better future?

A. Return the unused “Stimulus” money and returned TARP money to the Treasury. That would cut national debt by $1 Billion. Also see my second answer above.

Q. Do you think the Bush Administration shares any of the responsibility for the mess we are in today?

A. Yes. Good things though were he did protect us and began to face up to our terrible public school situation with No Child Left Behind.

These are two points I actually agree with -- mostly. I don't know if Mr. Bush should get all or any of the credit for keeping us safe, but I cannot argue with the fact that 9/11 was the last major assault on Americans, so I am assuming that my ex will give the same credit to Obama. As for NCLB, the basic assumptions that form the structure of the program are sound -- teach everybody the same thing in order to elicit a stanard outcome on tests, and presumably later performance in life. Problem is, we still have lots of square pegs in our public schools who cannot be shoved into the round holes of standardized teaching.

Did you notice how he refused to discuss anything Bush did wrong? That's not part of the conservative script in election year 2010, I guess.

THIS JUST IN: Being the consummate professional that I am, I allowed my ex to review this post for accuracy, just in case.  He decided to expand his answer to the previous question...

Q. Do you think the Bush Administration shares any of the responsibility for the mess we are in today? (continued)
A.  Bush should have never given money to the auto companies. Let them go bankrupt so union contracts could be renegotiated and companies would have more competitive cost structures. He started it, so Obama could continue it. We now own parts of GM and Chrysler and many dollars that went to GM, went to the "old GM" which went bankrupt anyway! Dumb.  Meanwhile intended recipients of TARP (Banks) are paying it back!

He should have defended himself and policies more. Dems and media killed him. He should have gotten into their faces to present his side. Imagine if he had said, like Obama has said, (Not exact quotes, but meaning is there)
• If you're old maybe expensive health care should not be provided. Just give grandma (sorry) a pill.
• Maybe I could treat that bad leg, but I will make more money (as a doctor) by cutting it off
• (Recently) The health care bill will reduce your employers' premiums by 3000%
• Yes your child just has a cold but (again as a doctor) we will take his tonsils out.

Bush did a lot that was good. I was in an airport on 9/11. How would anyone have liked to be him and figure out next steps as to short and long term security. And work on the economy. Better communications would have served him well.

Nobody in their right mind would want to be in the position to make those kinds of decisions.  I have always said that Bush handled himself extremely well during that crisis.  However, couldn't the same level of empathy be afforded to President Obama, given everything he had waiting for him on day one?

Q. I don’t know if you are a member of the TEA Party, but you are fervently anti-tax. Under your administration, how would the country pay for things such as interstate highways, national green spaces and wildlife preserves, schools and public safety?

A. Via taxes that would not be used for all the wasteful things you can read about at various Websites. Hopefully your roads are better than mine, but we are taking care of a lot of illegals ! (He lives in California)

Q. So it’s not taxes per se that you are against, but wasteful spending of tax dollars?

A. Yes, exactly.

Q. Is it important for the rest of the world to think highly of the United States of America as a world leader as well as a world power?

A. Only slightly. It’s funny that we are always first on site in every disaster , and yet Obama believes we have to be apologized for. I could go on for hours .

Q. Why only slightly? Hasn’t it bothered you in your world travels that Americans seem to be met with a lot more disdain than in the past?

A. I know and meet many people who travel worldwide. We are not hated. A minority view was used to win an election.

Well, now. This is one I might have taken on in my other life as wife. I can't respond with the same miniscule sampling of world-travelers, but I do believe our country has lost status throughout the world. I think my ex assumed he knew what I was getting at with this question. This bothers me a lot, because it sounds like a scripted response, a la Sunday morning pundits, rather than the fair and independent thinker I know my ex to be.

Q. Who or what is to blame for the implosion of the U.S. Real Estate market?

A. Primarily liberal politics, (see community reinvestment act, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank, Maxine Waters), and then consumer behavior. Again, I could go on for hours, but I had an office for awhile with a loan broker. I heard him tell people, “Please understand, this is an Option Adjustable Rate Mortgage. Principle and Interest monthly payments are $2000. Interest only is $1850. If you want for 2 years you may make the optional monthly payment of $275.” When the loans adjusted all the people that should not have gotten a loan defaulted, putting a glut of real estate on the market, which finally affected good people like you.

Aaahh. Something we can agree on.

Q. How do you feel about Rush Limbaugh? Glenn Beck?

A. I find Rush informative and entertaining. Don’t care for Beck.

Uhhhh. Something we can't.

My ex and I have both been unemployed for an entire year, and we both would like to have a full-time job. He has always been at the top of the pack in any sales force he has worked within. I, too, have always enjoyed recognition for being among the top performers in my more generalized management career. We have come to the conclusion that being in our sixties is the primary reason neither of us has been hired. It is driving him crazy, but notice how clinical his answers are to the following set of interview questions.

Q. You are a veteran sales professional, who has had a lot of success over the 40 years of your career, but you have been unemployed for more than a year now and you really want a job. Why haven’t you been able to get hired?

A. My age and (I have been told this) my expectations of an income that they think is non-achievable.

Q. I thought sales people were the most in-demand category of workers.

A. If the economy was booming, you are right. I used to get calls from head hunters very regularly.

Q. Why do you think employers are leery of hiring seniors?

A. They think we are sickly, out of shape and tire easily.

Hmmmm. Where on earth did they get that idea?

Q. In an economy losing jobs by the thousands each month, does it make sense for companies to hire younger people rather than seniors?

A. Young people are cheaper.

Q. True, but are there other, equally important reasons to hire a veteran senior that could actually offset the difference?

A. Not currently.

Hey, what about skills? Wisdom? Institutional memory? If these don't count for anything, why is my ex so angry about not being able to get a job?

Q. Can you think of a way for the current administration to tap into all the unused talent that exists in the senior community?

A. Probably not from this admin. Economy has to pick up and nothing they are doing will do that. I heard today they are predicting 9-10% unemployment for 18 months to 3 years. Once economy picks up, more demand for workers, more opportunities for Seniors.

Q. Yes, of course that’s true, but I was asking for creative ideas that could put the collective wisdom and expertise to work, in order to move the economy along.

A. Not that I can think of. Economy gets going like it was until 2007 or so, and jobs will be there.

If the country somehow manages to get past this protracted down economy, the attitude toward senior workers might have to change for purely practical reasons. The baby boomers are quickly moving into seniorhood and their numbers are staggering. Could it be that these same out of shape, sickly and tired people will make up a significant percentage of the available labor pool?

I had one final question for my ex:

Q. If I admit that I am sorely disappointed in a) the way Obama contributed to any and all decisions that resulted in the egregious misappropriation of our tax dollars in the form of the Recovery Act, TARP, etc., b)the Healthcare Reform effort, which will do little else than “reform” the health insurance industry in less than sweeping ways, c) the fact that he has shown a disappointing reluctance to stand up and lead, will you agree to stop browbeating me about all of the above every time you get a chance? I hear you.

A. Yes

How's that for reaching across the aisle?