A Friend in Need

A message hit my email inbox early this morning that took my breath away. It was from one of the many high school friends I have recently rediscovered. He was one of my first romantic interests, very briefly, until we both moved on to the next one. He wrote to say that his 48-year-old first-born son has passed away after a two-year illness.

Who among us who are parents have not thought with dread about the prospect of losing one of our children? Nature does not intend for that to happen. It's just wrong.

This poor man--I'll call him Jack -- has suffered through so many heartbreaks in his life. He didn't even know he had this son until a few years ago. He and his girlfriend had been teenagers when she became pregnant, and they did what couples "in trouble" did in those days -- got married. Predictably, that didn't work out so well. When they fought for the last time, she cruelly told him that the son that was born to them was not, in fact, his. That was enough for him; he left and never looked back. Several years ago, this son's children enlisted the help of another old friend to help track down the grandfather they never knew. Jack was, in fact, their dad Brian's father.

In the interim years, Jack struggled to find his way. He remarried and had four other children, all wonderful, ambitious and successful. On one day, on this exact date ten years ago, Jack watched as his 34-year-old son, Michael, was crushed to death between a truck and a loading dock. The trauma of this tragedy destroyed his marriage and left his ex-wife emotionally impaired to this day.

Jack kept his children on track and threw himself into his work, amassing a fortune. He finally met his soul mate and is now happily married. When Jack was located by his grandchildren and learned of Brian's true paternity, he also learned that Brian was in prison. Jack beat himself up relentlessly, believing that had he not left him Brian might have turned out better. Ever since, Jack has been trying to make up for it. When Brian was released from prison he was already ill, and Jack did everything he could to support him. Now, he's gone.

Jack is a wonderful man who loves his family so much that he will soon travel to the Philippines to walk his niece down the aisle at her wedding. His brother cannot find it in his heart to accept the Filipino man his daughter has chosen, so Uncle Jack stepped up. He cried as he told me this when I called him this morning. Through his own pain, he found the strength to cry for the pain of someone else he loves.

Be strong again, Jack. Your remaining children will get you through this and you will smile again soon.