The Truth DOES Set You Free

Over the years of my adult life I have come to dread the November/December holidays. It is such a stark contrast to the delicious anticipation I experienced as a child and young adult, I almost feel guilty about it. But the truth is that the pressure to have a feast on the table twice in about a month's time; to get the house decorated to feel festive and special; to choose just the right gift for everybody in your life; to write and mail impressive and personalized holiday cards before it's too late; to bake the special cookies and treats; to look like a million bucks on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day, and to pay for it all, is exhausting.

This year, however, has been an extremely pleasant surprise. My regular readers know that I have had some major life-changing events in 2009, most of which have changed drastically my financial status. And because I have chosen to be totally candid about it all, this has been the most carefree holiday season of my adult life! Now I understand the real meaning behind that old "every cloud has a silver lining" adage. Because everybody I know has been made aware of my unemployment, my loss of equity and investments, and the fact that I am old now, with little hope of generating the kind of income I once had, no one is expecting much of anything from me this year. It's liberating!

Whatever I do this year will be straight from my heart. Small gifts have been chosen with great care, so that their relevance to the recipient will be absolutely and instantly obvious. If I choose to skip the obscenely expensive tradition of mailing fancy cards to people I don't even talk to or think about throughout the year, I will do so without the usual concern about what those people might think. (As if they stand by their card collection and discuss the cards they haven't received!) Since it is my turn to host my small family for Christmas dinner, not one of those special people will care if I serve sandwiches or standing rib roast, because they already know I will do what I can.

Several people have remarked about how brave I have been to be so open about my setbacks. At first, I thought I was being brave because I was basically admitting some level of failure, a behavior that I haven't often displayed. But it turns out that by laying it all out there, I gave myself a huge (and free) gift: the time and inclination to think about what is really important about the season. I highly recommend it.